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My kid went to a bday party today, and asked if she could bring me home a piece of cake because “my mom really just loves cake” and I dunno guys, I think this is my proudest parenting moment to date 🎂 🥮
— Spellbound (@Spell_boundd) May 8, 2022
My car was making annoying squeaky noises, it stopped once I dropped off the kids
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 12, 2022
Ppl w babies: I don’t see why people stop traveling when they have kids! You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! Grab a stroller, fly to Europe, it’s really all in your mindset
Those ppl a year later w a toddler: it only took us 23 mins to get down the stairs this morning
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 9, 2022
Did my grocery shopping with a World’s Greatest Mom balloon clipped to my cart. I wasn’t buying it. I just wanted everyone to know.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) May 8, 2022
It’s the last month of school, here are 97 activities in the middle of the day parents need to attend.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 10, 2022
I just found out my daughter has me saved in her phone as “9 month hotel” 😐
— ꧁•⊹٭𝙱𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝙴𝚡𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚜٭⊹•꧂ (@sasshole785) May 10, 2022
I once waited for my mom to pick me up from work for an entire hour. My teen texted 3 times and called once when I didn’t pick her up at 4:30. I picked her up at 4:32.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 11, 2022
7: Dad, why don’t you grow a beard?
Husband: Your mom wouldn’t like it if I did.
7: Oh, would she be jealous because she can’t grow one?
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) May 12, 2022
Love it when in-laws give advice on how to “raise a future adult.” Ma’am, I knew your son when he was 19. You might want to sit this one out.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) May 9, 2022
Daughter told me a boy asked her out in school.
Me: What did you say?
8 yo: I said I can speak 3 languages and was the lead in my camp’s play. What can he offer.
— Panagis Galiatsatos, MD, MHS (@panagis21) May 10, 2022
My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes weren’t for walking on the water but in it
— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) May 9, 2022
just signed my kids up for summer day camps so if anyone is looking for spare organs im looking to sell a couple
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 12, 2022
When I was 9 months pregnant with my son, my mom & I were on the side of the road, struggling with a flat. A car with 4 men stopped, not to help, but to ask for directions to a local golf course.
My mom sent them 15 miles in the wrong direction.
She is the legend who shaped me.
— Finger Taints (@ArtIsMyPorn) May 7, 2022
One of my kids ate all of my Russell Stover sugar free chocolates.
In about 30 minutes, one of my kids will learn an extremely valuable lesson.
— Jules (@asaltiercorpse) May 8, 2022
Never underestimate how annoying it can be to have your kid constantly repeat a made up word
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) May 9, 2022
When I call my daughter beautiful, I also call her strong & smart & brave & kind because I don’t want her growing up thinking looks are everything. But I also want to convey that she is, in fact, beautiful. No I don’t have anxiety about raising my daughter, WHY DO YOU ASK?!?
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) May 10, 2022
Parenting little kids is mostly saying “please eat” or “do NOT put that in your mouth”
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 10, 2022
My mother-in-law would like to know why her son won’t be spending all of Mother’s Day with her, I would be grateful if someone could explain it to her while I’m putting her grandkids to sleep
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 8, 2022
my kid just told me she wants to change her name to Olive, and on one hand it’s like yes honey choose your own name! but on the other hand how do I tell her that Olive is the Katie of 2022
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 7, 2022
A kid in my daughter’s class tore up these squishy animal fidgets that she has and instead of making him pay for them she wants him to make amends by saying a few words at their funeral 💀
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) May 12, 2022
My daughter just informed me that after she showers she only dries her eyes. She just puts clothes on her wet body and goes on with her life
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) May 11, 2022
The best part of having twins is when one project is due, there are actually two.
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) May 11, 2022
10 y/o daughter says she wants a job like mine someday because I’m “important but not that important” and my life story finally has a title.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) May 12, 2022
Hanging out with other parents is basically just trying to one up each other on how tired you are
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) May 8, 2022