Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I really miss my kids being young, not because of their cuteness, but because I used to tell them that things were closed when it was raining, and they believed me.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) June 11, 2022
My toddler wanted to take a spatula to the zoo and after a fierce round of negotiations I was able to talk her down to a spatula and a throw pillow.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 11, 2022
Today my 7 year-old came into the room crying. I asked him what happened and he said that his 5 year-old brother put 80 cows in his house in Minecraft while he was offline and that it was “entirely too many cows” and honest to christ I have no idea how to parent any of this.
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) June 14, 2022
I’m eating the potato off my 3yr old’s French Fries because he doesn’t like potato, in case you wondered if parenting was right for you
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 14, 2022
No one wants your attention more than a kid in the back seat of a vehicle you’re driving while you’re trying to locate an address.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) June 14, 2022
Today was a very special occasion for my 5yo. It was the first time he called his mommy Bro.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) June 16, 2022
When they’re older they won’t want to hang with me I think as my kids have 15 things to tell me while I’m on the toilet.
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) June 16, 2022
overheard a teenaged girl ask her dad to explain what started World War II. he tried to play it cool but I could see it in his eyes, this was the moment he’d been waiting for for fifteen years
— Adriana Porter Felt (@__apf__) June 13, 2022
my kids can lose something i bought them for $20 and up and not even flinch but could lose a stick they found in the yard and cry about it for hours.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 15, 2022
Nobody is more drunk with power than a teenage lifeguard with a whistle
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) June 13, 2022
Me: Ugh, why do my kids never listen and keep ignoring me?
My microwave: Beep, beep, beep, for the 72nd time, take this coffee mug out!
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) June 14, 2022
My youngest is named Rose, and she has spent all of early June walking around the neighborhood, looking at everything in bloom, and whispering, “It’s my season.” Give me this energy!
— Lindsey Trout Hughes (@lindseythughes) June 11, 2022
Sally just made me sing a my little pony song for her…I complied and then she said:
“ Do it again but without all those ‘bumps’ in your voice.”
Sally didn’t like my vibrato and now I’m self conscious.
— Audra McDonald (@AudraEqualityMc) June 16, 2022
My six year old loves bananas and loves pancakes, but when daddy makes banana pancakes, I’m the “worst dad ever!”
— devon sawa (@DevonESawa) June 13, 2022
I wore red lipstick today and my 4 year old, while wearing his underpants inside out, boldly informed me that I look like the Joker
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) June 15, 2022
I just told my daughter that when I was a kid our tv only had 4 channels and she rolled her eyes and said, “oK, mOm. wHaTeVeR,” and now I’m starting to wonder if maybe my father DID walk to school uphill both ways.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) June 13, 2022
“Push me more medium-er” -3yo, on a swing, dropping perhaps the most 3yo-like comment imaginable
— MikeUnderscoreProbablyNotABot (@correspundit) June 14, 2022
My kid told me he deserved more cheese and who am I to argue with that
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 16, 2022
My rating system for kids birthday parties:
Beer for parents: 5 stars
No beer for parents: 0 stars
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 12, 2022
My 7YO is either very shy in front of people, or she’s already given them our social security numbers
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 11, 2022
if you have a kid who showers on their own, you have to remind them to use soap and shampoo every so often otherwise they forget those products exist
i learned this the hard way after my son asked me what the soap looked like
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) June 14, 2022